Dear Alex, My dad got laid off from his job, and I don’t know how I feel about it. I was just there for Bring your kids to work day… it is weird. And he hasn’t said much about it. I don’t think there is a financial problem, I mean I could help pay for some more house hold stuff if needed, but I am kinda unsure about the entire thing.
What do you think? Am I just over thinking it?
Do you think we will be okay? – Anonymous
You are not over thinking it, and you will be okay. The thing about parents is that they always find a way to support their family. But there is not a lot you can do in this situation, usually it is the little things that go a long way. Be as helpful as you can for your parents because they are most likely having a hard time. If your parents say something that may seem a little rude or aggressive you should not take it personally. Some people cannot handle their own emotions and take it out on others when times get tough. This does not give them an excuse to treat you badly, instead it is an opportunity for you to understand that your parents are human too and that even if they lash out at you, they still love you and don’t necessarily mean it personally.That being said, don’t push your parents into talking about it if they don’t want to. If it is really bothering you, maybe think about telling them that you want to know what’s happening in your family. If the situation is sensitive for your parents maybe you shouldn’t mention that you can help pay for things for the house because that can be touchy for some people. Talking things out couldn’t hurt. Have an honest discussion with your parents and they will help sort things out and most likely appreciate your concern even if they don’t show it right away,
Dear Alex, I don’t like people. I mean, I have friends who are people. And my family is full of people. But… other than that, people make me uncomfortable. They do things that make me shrivel away. Or they are just there when I rather be hiding away reading. Is this normal to feel this way? – Lone Wolf
Dear Lone Wolf,
It is very normal to feel this way. A lot of people find comfort in things like books and movies rather than other people. You can take two paths from this point, you can either try and fix it or stay the way you are. If you want to continue hating the world or the people in it that is fine, if not there are a few ways to appreciate others around you a little more. Empathy is a very important tool to enhance your view of others, you always have to think about the possibility that someone just had a really bad day. The way that I see it is that everyone hates people but some people can hide it better than others. Sometimes, you can’t do anything about how much you don’t like people but you can control your open-mindedness and if you are keeping an open mind and don’t judge people before you actually know them then you have done all you can. In extreme cases it may be best to contact a therapist or our school social worker Jill (she’s at the school every Friday in the room to the left of Guidance).
Dear Alex, As cheesy as this sounds, I really really really like this one guy in my grade. I have a couple classes with him, but we only talked a couple times. He hangs with the type of people who I rather not go near. I don’t know what to do! It is just a silly crush but he was really funny when we talked and he is nice to me, unlike a lot of the guys I meet. – Probably a Pisces
Dear Probably a Pisces,
If you really like him you should try to hang out with him more often because it is a silly crush until you actually know who the person is. Just because a guy is nice does not mean that he likes you or is right for you. The way that I think about it though is that if you don’t like his friends there is a huge chance that you might not like him once you get to know him. He is most likely very similar to his friends and that is why they are all hanging out together. He could be the exception to the rule but he most likely isn’t. If anything, you should get to know him as a person before you make a move. If you are not comfortable enough with him to have a conversation about your feelings for him you are probably not ready to ask him out. …or get to know him better!!! get comfortable with him! You never know until you try!
Dear Alex, I crave chocolate. But I don’t have any – Cocoa Cravings
Dear Cocoa Cravings,
Have you eaten today? When your body doesn’t get the nutrients (especially magnesium) it needs its go-to food is chocolate! If you’re feeling down, or going through some hormonal imbalances (as you most likely are, as a teenager), science tells us chocolate triggers the happy hormones in our brain- so I recommend you follow through with your cravings. If you’re feeling too lazy to walk to a corner store, and if you have no siblings or parents willing to feed your craving- I’m sorry but you are out of luck. There are no cheap same-day chocolate delivery services. However, if you’re someone who experiences menstruation (or you don’t mind spending extra money on getting monthly packages of tampons, pads, etc just to get a monthly chocolate bar,) I highly suggest you check out theperiodstore.com/.
Dear Alex, So much homework! And work! And Extra curricular things I want to do. I have a passion for so many things, but I just don’t know when or how I can do them all. My siblings feel neglected because I spend most my time in my room working on homework or out at work or at extra curricular activities. I really want to get back into playing sports and reading more and playing more music, but I am just too busy all the time. Help? – Hot Mess
Dear Hot Mess,
Recently I have been going through something similar to this problem. When I realized that I was doing too many things, I thought back to one of my favorite television shows as a child, Ned’s Declassified School Survival Guide. In one of the episodes Jennifer Mosely is in too many sports teams. She complains to Ned saying that she is stressed out and her usual perfect grades are now being affected. Ned then tells her that the reason she is stressed is because she is doing too many things and that she needs to pick one team and go for it even though she loved all three sports. I think that that advice is best in this situation. Of course extracurriculars and sports look great to universities and they are really fun especially when you are passionate about them but you need to think about yourself too. School should be your number one priority, and if you don’t have enough time to do extracurriculars too then you need to seriously think about how to better manage your time. For example, you could try doing homework during your commute to and from school I know this is not ideal for people who take the bus but if you really want something you can do it (for people who drive you can use your shorter commute to get to school earlier so you can finish things up). There is the obvious answer of start homework as soon as you get it so you don’t fall behind. You can spend more time with your siblings by doing homework with them that way you can help them out and hang out with them while you get your work done. I found this link helpful https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/get-started/inside-the-classroom/8-ways-to-take-control-of-your-time and you can always do your own research and apply it to see what works best for you.