Ask Angel – Love and Trigonometry

Recently I’ve lost feelings for my long-term boyfriend and I think I’m in love with my best friend. What do I do? – Stuck in a love triangle

Dear Stuck in a love triangle,

Hey there, I’m so sorry about your situation because honestly, it sounds really messy, but I’m sure you’ll do what’s right. I can’t say that I’m able to relate, but I think I may be able to help. I would recommend explaining everything to your boyfriend, taking a few days to think about how you feel towards your best friend, and then go from there.

First, I think you should talk to your boyfriend in person and explain that you’ve lost feelings for him. I think you should break it down for him gently and explain when you lost your feelings for him, and maybe if there was a reason, you could explain that too. You could start by telling him what you liked about the relationship or what part of it was really important to you. Or if your relationship wasn’t the best, tell him what you think could’ve gone better.

After that, I would suggest that you guys break up. There’s really no point in being in a relationship where the feelings are one-sided. There’s always going to be one person who’s giving their all and receiving nothing in return, and that is in no way fair to them. I also think that it’d be good to break up because if you’re starting to catch feelings for someone else, you should see if that relationship could develop.

Now, after you’ve spoken to him and have broken up, I’d suggest taking a few days to figure out how you’re really feeling about your friend to see if you actually like them or if you were just overthinking things and jumping to conclusions without fully understanding your feelings. Take a step back, try to understand how you’ve been feeling, spend some time with your best friend and see if you actually like them or if you’ve mistaken something else for being in love.

I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to do the first two. It’s crucial that you talk to your boyfriend and explain the situation to him, but it is definitely your choice to decide to tell him about your feelings towards your best friend. Honestly, I would love to help you figure out if you should tell him or not because that’s personal, and you don’t owe him anything. I would also highly recommend spending some time with your best friend because the last thing you’d want is to be in a relationship where you have mixed feelings towards your S.O. 

Being honest with yourself and your partner in a relationship is very important, and you shouldn’t ever think that it’s not. You always need to fill your partner in on important changes in a relationship like this because it’s not fair to either of you if you’re not telling them. They might think that everything is fine when it’s not, and then you’ll be stuck in a relationship where your feelings for one another aren’t mutual. I hope this helped and gave you a better idea of what to do.

Signed,

Angel