Ask Angel – Love and Trigonometry Pt. 2

My best friend recently told me he has feelings for me but I’m dating his older brother who I really like. I kinda like my best friend back but I can’t break up with my boyfriend because I’m scared I’ll mess things up with their relationship. What do I do? – Troubled

Dear Troubled,

Hey there, thank you so much for reaching out. The situation sounds really complicated but I hope I can give you a clear idea of what to do. Honestly, the way I see it, there’s no way you can get out of this situation without anyone getting hurt. First, I think you should talk to your boyfriend and best friend about what’s going on, take some time to yourself to figure out what you want and how you really feel, then use all that information to figure out what you’re going to do next.

You should talk to both your boyfriend and your best friend and explain the circumstances so that they know what’s going on. However, I would recommend doing it individually for the privacy of both relationships. You would have to explain the affair differently to each person involved because you mean separate things to them. I would suggest setting up meeting times for each of them in order to clarify in person. I’m sure they would appreciate that as well.

Once you’ve talked to each of them, take some time for yourself to figure out how you truly feel.  What you want is very important, because you don’t have to rush into another relationship while you still have confusing feelings. For this, I propose distancing yourself from your boyfriend and best friend and ask yourself a few questions like the following. Who do you see yourself having a future with? Will you regret your decision? What have you learned from that relationship? I believe questions like these will help you get a real sense of your relationship and whether or not you want to continue it.

Personally, I don’t think you should date either of the boys. I say that, because you said you were worried about their relationship with each other and I think keeping a platonic relationship with both of them would help. By not dating either of them, you wouldn’t be choosing between the two of them and they won’t get into a useless argument. I think taking some time off would be beneficial to you, mainly because you won’t feel so stuck in this problem. You’ll be able to step back and take a breather.

Talking to both guys is truly important, because they both deserve to know what’s going on and how you’re going to handle things since they’re both involved in this situation. Then, take some time for yourself to sort out your feelings and thoughts. Again, in my opinion, not dating either of them is the best option for all three of you. Their relationship won’t be compromised and you won’t be stressed out over maintaining a friendly relationship with the other brother. I hope this helped or at least gave you some insight on what to do.

Signed,

     Angel