January Ending

By Sathya Siva

January has come to an end.

Two more months of gray gloom. 

The sky is a bed covered in dark clouds.

No blue peaks through.

The ground is made of grass and melted snow.

It is cold.

The wind bites at my ears and nose

I can see the puff of my breath.

I am stuck in a room looking at a bright light and words on a screen.

I am trapped inside and out.

I can feel my emotions slowly leaking out of me like the colours of the rainbow turning gray.

The window in my room is just for decoration because there is nothing for me to see.

Wind sways the skeletal trees.

Gray, Gray, Brown, Gray, Green, Brown, Brown, Gray, Black, Gray, Gray.

The same pattern outside.

Gray, Gray, Black, Blue, Gray, Black, Blue, Blue, Black, White, Black.

The same pattern inside

My routine is now an instinct

Work, Surf, Work, Eat, Surf, Work, Work, Repeat.

Class is full of non verbals.

The teacher drones for hours because no one will respond.

It is silent everywhere.

I wait patiently for spring to come.

There needs to be some life, warmth and colour soon.

School is gloomy and so is the rest.

I can’t do anything. I can do everything.

The sun is nice to see from time to time. 

People are trying, we need to try as well.

We have two more months of this gray cold.

We have to make the best of it.

My coat is warm when I step outside.

Fresh air feels good after being inside for hours.

I have time to write when I get back.

My face feels like ice, maybe I’ll drink some hot cocoa.

It is nice to talk on my walk.

I no longer feel dismal.

Instead I feel hope.

My family gives me hope.

I keep going, keep pushing.

I am warm.

I hear the birds chirping.

I see the sun peak through a cloud.

I see raindrops on tree branches. 

I see smiles. I hear laughter.

People are trying, so I will try too.

January has come to an end.