Ask Angel – Complicated Crushes

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. There is this guy that was sort of my friend in the last year of middle school. However before Covid, ever since he had started dating some girl, he was really rude to me. I always had a feeling he kind of liked me and I kind of liked him too. I tried to talk to him this summer but he just pushed me away. I don’t think he likes me anymore but I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since. I feel horrible, and the details make it even worse What should I do?

First and foremost, there is nothing wrong with you. It is completely normal to have feelings for someone; it’s a part of life. Despite it not being practical, it is also very common to have feelings for someone who may not like you back. There are a few things you can do in this situation. You can write down all of your feelings. Maybe you can try and talk to them again and if it makes you feel better, just imagine that the reason why he pushed you away was because his girlfriend asked him to. Most importantly if a guy or any guy is making you feel like you can be replaced or an option, they don’t deserve to be in your life.

Writing is a very helpful tool to help cope with our feelings and it is one of the best ways to express ourselves. Sometimes writing stuff down is as good as if it were said because when we write things down we channel our emotions. You can even try writing this guy a letter explaining how you’re hurting, how they hurt you, how you can’t stop thinking about them, say anything you want and you can either save it for yourself or you can actually send it. Either way it’s helpful to have these feelings down on paper because it can sometimes make more sense in writing then it would if it was just floating around in her head. It can give you a sense of control. 

You could try talking to him again. Even though you tried before, summer was a long time ago. Things might have changed since then, they could have broken up, he could have been going through something. That’s no excuse to him, but circumstances may have been different when you tried to talk to him last. If you try again now maybe he’ll be more willing to listen to you. Maybe this time he wont be dumb enough to push you away.

If it makes you feel any better, the reason why he could have pushed you away was because his girlfriend asked him to. Maybe she thought that you guys were really close and she was threatened by your relationship with him and that scared her. Due to the fact that he is a teenage boy, he most likely listened to her because he wanted a girlfriend, he wanted to have a romantic relationship. It’s possible that he wanted a relationship with you but he was too scared to tell you he liked you and scared to ruin your friendship with him.  There is one question I do want to ask you though. If it turned out that both of you felt the same way, how would that have changed your relationship and what would you want to come out of it? If you aren’t really sure then is it worth fighting for?

The most important piece of advice that I can give you is that he is not worth it. No one is if they are making you feel like a second choice, like someone who is replaceable or an option. No one deserves to be treated like that and if someone is, you should definitely drop them as your friend. There is nothing wrong with you, you are amazing and I don’t need to know you personally to even know that. However you do need to decide for yourself if the way you are feeling now, like something’s wrong with you, is really worth any type of relationship with this guy or anyone really.

I hope that this was helpful for you if you have any more questions I will be happy to answer them. Just remember that you are absolutely amazing, you don’t need anyone in your life who doesn’t make you feel like the wonderful person you are. Dealing with emotions can be really hard especially as a teenager. It’s really important you find ways to cope or express what you’re feeling. Whether it’s talking to someone, writing things down, or even screaming your head off. You have to figure out what works for you because your mental health is indispensable. Do not let some teenage boy or girl ruin that.

Signed,

Angel