Ask Angel – “…I’m stupid, really stupid.”

I’m stupid, really stupid. Have you ever liked someone who no matter how poorly they treat you, you still like them? Not like-obsessed. You just can’t stop thinking about them. And they humiliated you, or at least they made you humiliate yourself. And you still love them? How can you? I need to stop, but I can’t. 

I cant believe I’m not over something that happened in middle school. Just because it seemed like he liked me? He was a jerk then and an ahole now. And yet here I am, one of the biggest idiots to grace this planet. I don’t know how much more I can take. It’s torcher.  

I can barely look at myself without seeing disgust. I don’t know hat happened to me. I don’t know what to do.

– Confused

Hey Confused,

Your concerns are completely valid and it is understandable that you feel a bit lost. Yet, I want you to know you are far from alone because all those feelings you are battling are common experiences among high school students.  

As someone who has been through something similar, I would say the most crucial thing in this situation is to find happiness in yourself. It’s essential to first recognize that liking someone at the expense of your mental health is unhealthy. Liking someone should be a happy experience. You should feel like a better, more confident person around them. Once liking someone becomes a stressor in your life to the point where you begin to feel less-than, it is no longer a healthy experience and you should take time to distance yourself from them. I know you may be concerned that distancing yourself might push the person away. However,  if the person you like is supposed to be in your life, they will find their way back one day even if you take the much-needed time to distance yourself. So, taking time to yourself and prioritizing yourself will definitely start you on the journey to fulfillment, help you stop thinking about them so often, and help you be analytical in questioning if the person is truly right for you.

While distancing yourself, it is also essential to treat yourself with lots of love. While showing yourself love, you realize that there are so many more great things in life to invest your time and effort in rather than liking someone that you feel humiliated by. Practicing self-love will also help you take your mind off of them. One way to show self-love is finding healthy hobbies. Personally, I enjoy playing instruments, and each time I play I feel confident and motivated to do more for myself. Joining sports or clubs is also a great way to find yourself. Richview has tons of sports teams such as swimming, football, volleyball, and badminton. Not to mention Richview’s extensive list of clubs such as Richview Voice (the club that allows me to talk to you), Youth in Control, Best Buddies, and Debate Club. Immersing yourself in these healthy habits will not only help you find more confidence in your abilities but also meet new people that you can have fun with. With that said, hanging out with friends and talking through your thoughts with other people are also a great form of self-love. Personally, when I feel less-than, just being around my friends always makes me feel much better. Meeting new people and creating great friendships are great ways to get your mind off of things while also helping you find more confidence in and love for yourself.

Feeling lost and confused are experiences everyone goes through once in a while. It is important to prioritize your mental health and treat yourself with the utmost respect and love during these times. You can do so with different hobbies and confiding in friends, and reach out to Richview’s great guidance counsellors and senior students, who will be more than happy to talk things out with you. Never be afraid to reach out for help and never be afraid to prioritize yourself. You have a great community cheering you on! We believe in you! You totally got this!

With so much love,