Ask Angel – Big Mouth

My sister and I don’t get along very well. Never have. We just bicker all the time and yell at each other. Yesterday, we got into a really big fight. Like screaming at each other big. She said somethings to me, I said somethings to her until finally I yelled that I can’t wait for her to go to university so I can finally be rid of her. It got really quiet, and then she left. She looked hurt and she hasn’t talked to me since. I do feel bad. I didn’t really mean it. I love my sister, despite our fighting. How do I fix this?

– wishing I never opened my mouth

Dear Wishing I Never Opened My Mouth

Thank you for reaching out. It’s good to learn from our mistakes and to grow from them because moments like these are unfortunate. Saying things we don’t always mean is a part of being human, and so is forming deep relationships with others. 

Your sister going to university is a big change happening in her life; she’s leaving her home to go somewhere unfamiliar, which is probably causing emotional turmoil. I think this change may also be affecting you: deep down, you know that your sister won’t be in your day-to-day life in the same way. Both of you are probably very emotional right now, so getting into arguments is no surprise. Just remember that your sister has probably also said some things that she didn’t mean. 

The best thing you can do now is to explain your feelings and why you said what you said, then give her time to understand. People who are going through big changes in their lives are always overthinking and stressing. Giving them a chance to breathe will benefit them and allow a smooth transition. Let your sister head off to university with a clear mind and a positive attitude. You definitely don’t want to part ways on the wrong foot. 

I expect that once your sister is in university, you’ll start to realize how different your life feels without her. Try staying in touch with her online, even if it’s a simple hello, some advice, or some inconsequential bickering. You’ll regret it in the long run if you let this argument tear you two apart. 

Sibling arguments are great opportunities to learn and grow. I sincerely hope that my tips will help you resolve any lingering mistrust or misunderstandings with your sister, and that you two will become closer once this situation has passed. 

Written with love and support,